in which our hero Captain Cook sells a "one-way shackled cruise to purgatory" to other historical Heroes of Empire
Given a choice, would you rather go on YouTube to watch a trigger-happy American cop try to arrest a burly black man (fight! fight! fight!) or instead study a 2000-page government report on incredibly dull ethnic minorities who just get on with their daily lives (working to earn a living, housekeeping, grocery shopping and doing the school run)? The vast majority of human beings, no matter their skin colour, have a life to live, a family to raise, a job to hold down, and have no interest in race-baiting or race-wars. No time, my friend, no time. While you are busy getting angry, fulminating against white folk, correcting history and realigning racial power lines through hatred and violence, who is earning your living and teaching your kids how to live a good, happy, meaningful and productive life?
The new CRED Report on racial disparities (google it, it's worth studying) has disappointed the UN experts on 'how to do being-an-African' because we expect race reports to rile us, spur us into action, give us new grounds for a bit of marching or even a full-blown riot with burning barricades if the weather is nice and we fancy going on the rampage. Instead the report presents us with deadly dull statistics about how many ethnic minorities go to Oxford and how many are NHS consultants. Unfortunately we will struggle to translate stats about the 2.3% ethnic pay gap into rousing drama. If you are trying to get angry, pay gap stats won't get you very far.
Wow, Oxford University and Our NHS are doing so well at offering everyone their equal opportunities! With 25% to Oxford and 40% to Our NHS we will soon reach our 80% target! It shows that enforcement of the Public Sector Equality Duty is working well, ensuring that admissions-by-quotas will match up all the available opportunities to the number of ethnic minorities at large. Ethnic minorities are not yet 80% of the population but we're working on it haha. Let's begin as we mean to continue. Meanwhile we hope all those NHS consultants will do their bit to promote apartheid 2.0 in the healthcare system as shown by the latest CRT medical science:
CRT developments are edgy, fresh and exciting! A call to arms! Something to fight for! A good justification for taking aim at other people! All those aspirational young medics, being trained in CRT, beavering away at their proactively antiracist medical agendas! Little babies studying how to be an anti-racist baby, and saying that when they grow up they want to be doctors so they can do actively-antiracism! It makes sense. No really it does, if you disengage your brain, abandon rationality, and just think about it the way you were taught to think in the mandatory CRT training session.
By contrast, dull facts about ethnic minority economic progress are barely newsworthy. Nobody cares unless there is a fight, a bit of shouting, a few insults, and preferably tears. The Report itself admits this painful truth: nobody cares about the individual character traits that facilitate economic success because, frankly, it's not as entertaining as CRT.
Minority self-reliance and resilience? How is that a sexy topic? Do you want to hear about other people's self-reliance and resilience? How they spent years in a dusty library studying chemistry and biology to qualify as a doctor, and now they spend all day in a healthcare centre listening to rattling chest cavities and prescribing aspirins, doing their bit for Queen and Country? I don't think Channel 4 will be making a docudrama about that any time soon because the race hustlers would denounce it as 'gaslighting'.
It's much more entertaining to watch a black professor on the telly revealing the cutting-edge discovery that Churchill is Hitler and Sewell is Goebbels, maybe go over to the other channel and watch Piers Morgan shouting about free speech for a little while until he gets cancelled. Now, that's more like it. Tons more lively! A bit of CRT drama to keep us interested and engaged and justify going out to stage a riot. Who has time for dull tasks like housekeeping and looking after their family, when we are needed out there on the streets actively rioting and burning down other people's property?
The most disappointing feature of the CRED report is its failure to highlight the issues we wish to riot about. We want to hear shocking tidbits, like the titillatingly racist things White people say to make Black people cry, and how there are not enough black people in Devon & Cornwall to do Black Lives Matter properly. Instead, the report tries to foist some obscure boring topics upon us. Like poor white boys. Trying to make us care about privileged white boys just because they happen to be poor, uneducated and socially-excluded. Who cares. It's a whitewash!
Everybody knows that white boys are the authors of their own misfortune because of their white privilege and also being descendants of colonialists. By avoiding university they have chosen to miss out on learning many useful and informative topics in modern education like:
In summary, CRT teaches that 'we've got to take the white people out'.
'But-what-about all the racism and microaggressions from my lived experience!' the race hustlers cry.
On that we find that the term 'racism' covers everything from encountering a smiley person in the countryside to suffering from vitamin D deficiency to being called the N-word as go for your morning jog. Racism has become a catch-all phrase meaning 'I'm black and from my lived experience all the white people seem to have more stuff and an easier life'.
The vast majority of people are not interested in race-baiting or race-wars. Most people are reasonable, able to think for themselves and apply a bit of common sense. Most people are not waiting to be informed by CRT activists how to understand the world. Most people understand that being discouraged from pursuing your goals is a matter within their own control. If you abandon your goals because you believe The Man is going to get you then that is a self-created limitation.
When you examine closely the evidence of racism, you discover that it may or may not comprise matters that would bother you. Some black people are gutted if a white person walks into the room and...fails to sit next to them! Shocking behaviour! They have to report that as a hate crime. Other black people don't care who sits where they are. Even after covid is over they'll be enforcing their social distancing space from other humans of all races so it's fine. It's all subjective. So what if there's a statue of a white man from 300 years ago in the market square. Statues don't have magic, and they can't cast spells on you to stop you from being happy and getting on with your life. Just because someone on the internet who shares your skin colour is angry about that, doesn't mean you have to get angry too. It's not compulsory for black folk to be angry all the time, no matter what you may have heard on social media. Being angry is a choice. Make better choices, using a pre-installed feature of all humans known as free will.
We reported in this very blog, the racist people in the countryside who smile and show an interest in black people's children. Well, some mothers would love to have anyone, anyone at all, show interest in their child, and wouldn't be writing to the Guardian to complain that this amounts to evidence that the English countryside is racist. Shows how subjective lived experiences are.
In the end, how bothered people are about 'racism' reflects where they fall on the individual-collective spectrum. Those who self-identify as an individual human being with their own brain and ability to function independently are happy to live, and let live. They realise that everyone in the world doesn't have to like them or be their best friend, and if someone doesn't smile at them (a real smile, not a fake racist smile) they don't feel the need to call the police to have that person arrested and imprisoned for a non-crime race-hate incident. They don't feel the need to get angry just because someone on social media wrote that all the black folk have to get angry.
Those who self-identify as a racial group, who are always announcing how their 'community' collectively feels about this and that, through the beat of their communal heart and the reasoning of their sole communal brain, can neither be happy nor allow others to be happy. "Our community is not happy!" they cry. They regard anyone with the temerity to be happy as a race-traitor. They need to measure the size of their community's equal opportunities and compare that to the size of the equal opportunities enjoyed by other people's communities. Collectivism does not lead to happiness, my friends, it leads only to inter-group conflict and hostility.
It seems likely that the split between individualist and collectivist is fairly even. The individualist recognises the concept of personal progress, while the collectivist recognises only group progress. The individualist will be happy to get a new job or a promotion or a pay rise, while the collectivist will never be happy until all the people in high places have the same skin colour as his racial sub-group. Just like tribalism, but with racial sub-groups instead of tribes. Only with their own tribe in power will they accept that the UK is a happy country in which to live, and that won't last because soon the other tribes will start squabbling for their turn.
Well, either it has or it has not. There is an objective way to resolve this, by identifying the factors people take into account in deciding whether they have made progress in life or not.
Progress in life cannot be measured by whether someone was rude to you or called you a racist word. Progress in life is measured by the extent to which you have personal goals (which is up to you to figure out, the government can't make personal goals for you) and the extent to which you have been able to achieve your goals (Dude, you have to do that bit too, the government doesn't achieve your personal goals for you).
Because something is deeply wrong if people feel they are unable to achieve their life goals because a white person was mean to them, looked at their child the wrong way, called them a BAME, and now they're really upset. No government on earth can fix this for us. We have to do the growing-up all by ourselves. Yes, it's a challenge. Life is a challenge. Luckily, we are born with all the equipment necessary to do life properly, which is known as a brain. We use this equipment to reason, to think, to plan. Everybody has one, no matter their skin colour.
It is better to engage your own brain and fix your own problems than to call for more legislation. Legislative solutions tend to make social problems worse. It was ever thus. Parents out there, if you have black children, take my advice, keep your precious children well away from whichever magic government fixes will we see emerging from this latest race report. Just raise your kids the way you were raised and they'll be fine.
Scholar, Writer, Friend